Monthly Archives: November 2020

God can use anything for His glory. And I do mean anything.

Last week He used my fuzzy socks. Sounds kind of ridiculous right? But in reality it is so much deeper than we could imagine.

On Monday nights at our church we have a ladies group called Overcomers. I have not been as faithful in going as I should have (part of my recent numbness). And my heart could have used it, to be completely honest. I love those women, I love that group. Anyway I recently started attending Monday nights again. Last week was especially touching.

My brother-in-law tagged me in a post on Facebook Monday evening, not too much before Bible study time. No explanation from him other than my name. When I read the post, it was a lady inquiring about our Monday nights. I didn’t know her, never talked to her, had never even heard her name. I could have easily not reached out. Its easy to hide behind social media isn’t it? No one sees that. Well, no one except God. But I didn’t feel that way. I wanted to reach out. So, we (God and I) took the bold step and messaged her. After some short conversation she was thinking she could make it. WHOOP WHOOP! Go God!

As I got ready for Bible study I thought, I do not want to wear shoes. I really just want to wear my fuzzy socks. But what kind of judgement would that bring, not wearing my shoes in church??? So, I got up to get my shoes. But as I walked out of the kitchen I heard a mighty whisper, “What makes you approachable and real, child?” I stopped, not knowing how to respond. I knew that Voice. I knew the meaning behind it. I knew that God works in the small things. So awkwardly and obediently I grabbed my socks and I went to church. In jeans, a sweater, and the very socks you see photographed above.

For visual purposes, let me elaborate on these socks. They are my favorite pair. They have holes in the bottom from walking outside to check the mail or out on the back patio. They likely have German Shepherd hair imbedded in them because….well if you’ve had a German Shepherd you know about their hair. It is barbed or something. It sticks to everything and never goes away. Basically these socks are tattered from being well-loved. So it really adds to the level of awkwardness. I mean Noah built an ark out of obedience…and these were just socks. So…I guess I have nothing on Noah and experiencing awkwardness.

I walked into the room, wondering what those put-together women thought of my ridiculous socks (this from the one who considers a bathrobe work-from-home attire and still gets anxiety at the thought of judgement from others). Mind you, I know these women are NOT in any way judgmental, and a lot of times my fear of judgement stems from my own insecurities. Yet I felt that way nonetheless. Anyway, I walked in and the woman I had spoken with had not arrived yet. I wondered if maybe she had changed her mind. And I was at church. In these socks. Comfortable as my feet were, I wanted to sit on my feet and hide them (remind me to talk about feelings of inadequacy in a future post).

After some time, my soon-to-be blessing showed up with her kiddos. She put the kids in the nursery and sat down next to me. She knew no one in that group. She only knew me by my profile picture and that’s it. Yet she came. I could talk about boldness all day and I’d talk about her, but I will leave that for her testimony. Anyway, she sat down. She listened to the lesson and gave her input. She asked for prayer. But do you know what she did before that?? SHE COMMENTED ON MY SOCKS. This could be counted as completely and utterly insignificant if I hadn’t had an earlier conversation with the Lord. Let’s be real here, who walks into a room and thinks, I am gonna sit next to the weirdo with the fuzzy socks on? Apparently she did. If I hadn’t been obedient, if I hadn’t listened to God and not been real, how would have things unfolded then? I don’t want to know. Yes, its only a pair of fuzzy, tattered socks. Yet it was an icebreaker for deeper conversation.

BUT ITS ONLY A PAIR OF SOCKS.

Here is where the real blessing comes in. The socks offered a realness. So real that we exchanged phone numbers, have talked almost daily, and are planning a coffee date. I want to hear her story. She is a new believer, and I mean new. Its awesome. God has blessed me thus far through her. I have been able to see His power, His mercy, and His grace all in the span of a week. All because I chose obedience. At God’s nudging I chose to reach out and I chose to wear fuzzy socks.

If I had not been obedient, I would have hid behind social media. If I had not been obedient I would have worn shoes like a “normal person.” But I need to remember that God works through our uniqueness and our obedience. That’s what it means to be set apart. Even in the small things. Really small things. Really insignificant things. Like fuzzy socks. How do we relate to others if we are all put together all the time? If we can’t share real-time testimony? We have to be real. And approachable. And sometimes messy. And without fear of judgement of others. The strength to do this is through obedience. God gives us what we need, when we need it.

Like those divine socks. I will forever be grateful.

1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…

I always wonder what happened after the Samaritan woman met Jesus at the well, received salvation, quenched her thirst, and shared her testimony. I like to think she quickly turned from sin and is sharing eternal life with the Lord. She could have also struggled with her sin and gave in, doomed forever.

But lets talk about a scenario that makes her relatable to women like you and I because we will always wrestle with sin, small or great. There will be hurt and temptation and we will struggle until the day we take our last breath.

First, I am going to call her Sammi for the sake of not having to type the Samaritan woman over and over. Also…thanks for your grace on that.

Now, Sammi went to the well, quenched her thirst with Living Water, and shared her testimony which aided in others believing in the Messiah. A complete transformation. This is how God works. Which is EXACTLY what we are supposed to do as believers, new and old. But what happened after that? What does that look like for us? Did Sammi stumble at times? Did she experience temptation still? You betchya she did! I am sure she faced a whole heap of struggles. Her testimony, your testimony, ANY testimony is an ever-evolving story. It doesn’t end at salvation because it is JUST THE BEGINNING. It has to be real. It has to be relatable.

How does it apply? Let me be transparent: I was baptized as an infant, raised Lutheran, got pregnant at 17 and again at 20 and 22, and I was baptized again at 29 after…I want to say veering off the spiritual path, but it was more like a 90 degree right hand turn at full speed into the ditch. Lets be honest. I have been angry at God in ways I never want to be again. And even now, I struggle. I judge quickly at times and I fear judgement when I shouldn’t. And sometimes my mouth speaks before the filter kicks in. Oh and during the first COVID lockdown I worked from home, in my bathrobe, without shame (see above). I also have recently worn the same pair of jeans for 3 days and I did not wash my hair today. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Again, I am the woman at the well.

We cannot bring others along if we haven’t walked the same road and fought the same battles. Sammi is relatable. But if you think about it, we can relate a part of ourselves to almost EVERY woman in the Bible. Eve, Delilah, Ruth, Esther, Sarah, Rachel, Bathsheba, you name it. We can pick out characteristics, strengths and weaknesses, struggles and triumphs and put a name to it. Make it real, make it relatable.

Sammi’s testimony was uniquely hers and it was filled with hurt, shame, and struggle. That statement holds true for you too. Do not be ashamed of the road you have walked. Do not be afraid of the judgement that may come from others. Do not discount the story God has laid out before you to share. Because there is someone out there who needs your words. She may be wearing the same pair of jeans for 3 days too.

You are Sammi. Own it.

Psalm 66:16 Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul.

For ten months I have been withdrawn. Withdrawn from church, from faith, from people. Almost like a spiritual numbness you could say. I have watched the world spin almost out of control between politics and disease and racial tensions. At the same time I have endured personal struggles that I have managed to just shove away. I didn’t want the pain or the conviction of any of it. I have been void of any sympathy or empathy or understanding or submission through it all. During quarantine times I found a false peace, a complacent serenity if you will, in gardening or reading. I didn’t worship, rarely picked up my Bible, and only prayed before bed over my daughters’ well being. That was the extent of my time with the Lord.

I am ashamed to admit it. I put God at arms length.

But He never left me. He never does.

So often I relate to David: imperfect, messy, and running to God through the trials. Other times I relate to Martha: doing what is socially expected or acceptable. I have even related to Paul: I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound (Philippians 4:12-13).

But in this moment I am the woman at the well.

Everything that I have ever done wrong, every sin, every hurt, every mistake, every everything has managed to creep in. And I mean every one, from the time I stole a dollar out of my dads piggy bank for a Slurpee at age 8 to allowing the busy to run my life at age 38. Those memories of sin and hurt sat right behind the numbness, the false peace, the complacent serenity and it has reared the ugly head of shame. And that is why I want to sit at the well and draw my water alone. No one wants my junk and frankly I don’t want anyone to have it.

But that isn’t how God works. AND I AM THIRSTY.

Jesus tells the woman at the well, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst,” John 4:13-14. I am, and have been, the woman at the well. I have been drinking complacent waters trying to quench a thirst that can only be satisfied by living water. He knows my sin so why do I squash it like he doesn’t? Jesus told the woman her sin and she confessed. Why am I any different? Do you know what is even more miraculous? Jesus worked through this messy and imperfect woman. Through the woman’s confession of sin, through her testimony, others BELIEVED in the Messiah.

So often we think, I don’t want to be the woman at the well. Oh but I do. I want to be God’s vessel. I want him to use my sin and imperfectness for HIS GLORY, just like He did her. She was available and willing and God used her.

I am David. I am Martha. I am Paul. And sometimes I am even Mary.

But today I am the woman at the well. And Jesus is the Living Water.