Submissive Wife

If you’re reading this, it’s because I knew that title would catch your attention.

Don’t be mad, bruh. Its not what you think.

I want to talk to the wives. Yep, every single one of you. This post may spark some debate, some irritation, some conversation, and some thinking. And that is ok. Just don’t leave here mad.

When we see the phrase “submissive wife” it likely ignites some discomfort inside of each one of us. But what God meant in that phrase and how the world portrays it are 2 VERY different things.

Let’s give some context here.

In the book of Genesis, God made man and noticed it wasn’t good for him to be alone (Genesis 2:18). So, God made a helper for him, but not just any helper. A gap filler. A helper fit for man. An ezer in Hebrew. So God made woman. Not only did God refer to woman as ezer, but HIMSELF as well.

I know what you’re thinking. So, you’re telling me that God used the same word to refer to woman as a helper as he uses to refer to Himself as a helper?

Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Right off the bat, God doesn’t give us a light task. We are to do all the things that man can’t do, hence why I referred to us as “the gap filler.” We have our own set of unique and God-given strengths, abilities, roles, and callings. We fill the gaps in a way no one else can. We bring all of that uniqueness into a union that God created so that it was COMPLETE and reflected HIS glory.

Why would I want to be equal to a man when God made me unique?

Let’s look at the well-known Proverbs 31. This chick does it all! She is a businesswoman, a creator, a nurturer, a chef, a seamstress, a farmer, and a humanitarian. She is strong and dignified and true. She is living out who God made her to be, and in turn it says she is PRAISED and TRUSTED IN by her husband.

What?!

See, biblical women weren’t weak. The Proverbs 31 woman sure wasn’t. Deborah, Ruth, Mary, Rahab, and Esther were all strong, formidable women.

So why do we have to be “submissive?”

Because there are some burdens, decisions, and family values that God designed the husband to carry, not the wife. Just as God made us with our unique features and abilities, so he made the male species with theirs. Part of that is to be the “final say.” Not in a domineering and prideful way, but it a way that reflects the heart of God, glorifies God, and leads his family.

Men carry some heavy stuff, God-given stuff, that they will have to stand before God and account for. Is that something that you want? To try to carry something you weren’t designed for?

I sure don’t.

Submission doesn’t mean keeping your mouth shut, not chasing passions God has placed for you and in you and walking out being “just the housewife.” No. Our job is to come with humble wisdom to our husband, to show Christ to our husband, to build him up, to respect him, to GAP FILL. And in turn, our needs are meant through love and security, trust and praise from our spouse.

A uniqueness only God could design for each.

As you look at the way God built us in Genesis, and at the way the woman walks out her calling in Proverbs, we have a very clear and distinct call as a female. We still have a say. We can still be ambitious in our careers. We can still raise our families. We can still create, be leaders in the world, and give wisdom.

But we are also set apart. I mean, we can grow other lives in our bodies. What a beautiful and joyful calling that is EXCLUSIVE to how God made us.

We must let our men be men. Let them lead and let them love. Being a “submissive wife” is not what the world has made it out to be.

It is the most unique and fulfilling experience we could embark upon.

My prayer today for all of us is that we can walk as God built us, called us, and showed us. That we can build up our spouses with respect, filling the gaps as the ezer God created us to be.

God knows what he’s doing.

Proverbs 31:10-12 – An excellent wife, who can one find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life.