In The Depths Of Uncertainty

I have recently been using the phrase, “God meets us in our messes and He loves us right out of them.” That phrase came into my thought process, like a flood of goodness, mercy, and grace in one simple and powerful sentence. And it wasn’t when I was praying or having quiet time or being a “good Christian.” That phrase came through in my distant numbness from God. It was a God-given gift.

We can get ourselves into quite the messes can’t we? And our messes involve a lot of junk like uncertainty, hurt, anger, fear, loss, sorrow, sin, pride…you name it and its there. And sometimes our messes just happen. Ones like accidents and illnesses that aren’t self-inflicted but still hurt nonetheless. And we still have to deal with them in all of our messy humanness.

In 2009, Katie’s cancer diagnosis and my divorce were happening at the same time. One was out of my control and the other, well I had choices to make and I chose what I thought was the right one. Neither would have been easy. I remember in the midst of my mess one day I was sitting at the kitchen table. I had just had another argument with the girls’ father and I was tired, distraught, and at the end of my rope. The uncertainty of illnesses and dealing with others had pushed me to break. As the sun was shining into the kitchen window and onto the floor directing its warmth around me, I hit my knees and cried out…when my heart is faint. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I…

My life changed that day. I didn’t see it then, nor did I see it a year later. But oh do I see it now.

This week I have thought a lot about where our faith lies in times of uncertainty when we are scared, worried, and weak. I have also noticed some around me pondering on the same question in one way or another. And honestly, hasn’t that been the theme of 2020? Uncertainty. Politics…uncertainty. COVID…uncertainty. Riots…uncertainty. Personal life…uncertainty. And all I can think is Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I…

The truth is that in the depths of uncertainty we find our faith. And in our faith we find peace EVEN IF times are uncertain, EVEN WHEN we are in the mess, and EVEN WHILE we don’t know God’s plans. We KNOW who holds us. WE KNOW the One who is sovereign. We know where our refuge and our strength both lie. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I…

We see uncertainty throughout the Bible that is counteracted by faith. We see it in Noah, Moses, David, Joshua, Job, Saul who became Paul, and Mary through arcs, giants, walls, hardships, blindness, and divine meetings.

God meets us in our messes and loves us right out of them because in the depths of our uncertainty is where we find our faith.

Psalm 61:1-3 Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.